A prayer to our savior (and some explaining, as well as some thoughts on an actual devotion :P)

"God, i don't know why you've given me this and I don't know how i'm going to get through this, so God, can you please, oh please be at my side every second of every day. I cannot face this without you, I cannot defeat my apathy without you, and i certainly can't heal her on my own. Jesus, please forgive me for the pain i've caused you, please forgive my mistakes, though there are so many of them. God, oh God just come to me now and comfort me, I am so lost without you. Thank you, I know that you've given me oh so much, and I can't ever, ever, thank you enough. Thank you for just meeting me here today, that is worth more than any material thing i have ever had."

My how I miss you guys, and I know it's my fault that i haven't made a large effort to make time to write on here (by computer died a few weeks ago and so it hasn't been convenient to write). But i hope you'll forgive me and even perhaps, if you have the time or desire, shoot me an email to remind me to both read the devos (i've missed some and read others) and to actually write on here (my email is mrtheatresmith@gmail.com ).

Anyway now for a little explanation for my "absence". Well for one my computer died, so that's hampered the writing, other than that i've started work, my school load has been a little heavier lately, and probably the most influential reason, my sister has been getting worse, she was in the hospital again a few weeks ago (for another couple months) and she just had to go back to the E.R. the other night during our vacation in LA , she ended up stuck there all night and found out that she had a cyst of some kind, which just adds on to the already intense pain she feels everyday. So yeah if you guys could be praying for her especially but me and my family as well that we can get what needs to get done in spite of the frustration of not having any solutions to my sisters sickness.

Now for little about todays devo (i hope im on the right week, i think i am though). It was a refreshing reminder that we get no where in our lives by looking out for ourselves. Jesus told us not to but our flesh strives to take care of itself, but He said he would take care of us. We need not worry about what we will get in return for our contributions, whether it be monetary or with our own two hands. We need not worry too much about how we will be fed next, God knows and understands what we need and will take care of everything. Another thing that really struck me, cause i struggle with this when it comes to one person, is again the love your enemies. I've had pain in my life caused by the mistakes of others and it's hard to forget and forgive, but it is something that Jesus constantly tells us to do. i think my favorite part though was the fact that looking out for our own well being doesn't do us any good "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. If you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners in order to receive back the same amount."

Well my rant is over, I hope and pray that all have the most amazing week and that God blesses you in every way possible. Oh and thank you guys for writing on here, what you guys write really inspires me and comforts me.

Your's truly Jonathan Hale