Worthy

So this week has been a week in which satan has tried every way possible in keeping me complacent. I am going to be completely honest with you guys and say that most days it worked and he kept me complacent. I was still wanting to grow, but I wasn't giving myself the time to dive into the word. Because I wasn't growing I asked God for a slap in the face of what I should be doing in order to grow. He definitely slapped me in the face when I met with my small group on Saturday morning! The leader of our small group had us there to give us some words of wisdom before the majority of us headed off to college, it went form her telling us ways to stay close to God to her being completely honest with us in that she had wanted the time to be spent celebrating our growth but all she saw was a group of girls that had become stagnant or gone backwards in their relationships with God. She gave us opportunities to share what we were struggling with and I shared that I was stagnant in my relationship with God and that I just wanted to be held accountable for reading and growing. Sadly, even on that day I only read a couple of verses and took nothing from them. It was today that I was at church worshiping that I realized that I was trying to take control of my life by placing certain things or people that in it that I thought would make me feel worthy. I was filling my life with everything but the one who would actually make me feel worth while. I was relying on other people that ultimately failed me because they are humans that are always going to fail. I was not relying on God who could never fail me, but thinks so highly of me it is crazy. I was carrying the burdens of this world once again trying to mold myself into what this world wants me be instead of who I am and what God wants to be. I had taken my heart from God and tried to give it to someone else who didn't want it. I took my heart from a place of safety and put it out in the most vulnerable spot I could put it. Tonight I put my heart back in Gods hands because that is where it is the safest. Where I had previously chosen the flesh over God I am now choosing God. Ironically enough as I was doing my quiet time I was reading in Luke 12 and verses 22-34 talk about how we don't have to worry about the things of this world because God is taking care of us and is providing for us. It talks about how God provides for the ravens and we are much more valuable than birds so of course he is going to provide for us! In the verse 34 it says "for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also". I realized that if I want my heart to be in God I have to place Him as my treasure that I always think about and want to spend time with(not some guy). The last thing that I wanted to share with you guys is that because I put my self worth into even the most foolish things such as how many people like my facebook status or who texts me I looked up verses that talk about our worth. In Job 28:13 it talks about how we cannot find our self worth on earth because it can only be found in God!

May you all know how worthy you are!!!

Sarah:D