Came to the Rescue

So to be honest, these last couple weeks haven't been the easiest.
I feel like God has been challenging me like never before... like I'm down and I can't get up! I've been presented with so many questions and I feel like I don't have an answer for any of them. Whenever an answer seems to arise, it just brings up another question. I've tried ignoring the problem and getting over it in my own way but I can't! I can't solve anything on my own.

Today I was so distraught and in that depression, I sought God. I didn't know where else to go- there was nowhere else. I hadn't written in prayer journal in a while so I thought that would be the best place to start. I flipped through the pages and as I did, I read some of my old prayers from the last few months. I came across one dated January 17, 2011, and it was my first prayer entree about Sonshine. This is what I prayed:

Praise Your Name! You are the Father who answers prayers. Thank you for Sonshine Ministries and this awesome opportunity to serve. Mold me. Use me. Refine me and define me, Lord!... I want to draw nearer to you, Lord. I want to be dependent on your word for every action. Let your Holy Spirit keep me accountable.

Another entree followed along the same lines and said:

Break me, Lord. Mold me and make me. Challenge me and test me. Purify me!... Open my ears as to better hear your voice. Oh, how I NEED your voice! Father, I want to be more like you.


Today, as I reflected on where I currently stand in my faith, in a time of a lot of questions and challenges, and as I looked back and read these prayers from not too long ago, I was filled with this unexplainable joy! I read through these old prayers and I KNEW that as I read them over again, they were being answered right at that moment! I asked God to test me and that's exactly what He is doing, what He has been doing. In knowing that, I now know my pain has a purpose and that purpose is to have me draw nearer to my Lord!

I don't know if it sounds crazy, but God came to the rescue not by taking me out of a situation but by flipping my perspective on it. I took my eyes of the prize and focused on myself.
So, God, I want to give my focus back to you.
PRONE TO WANDER, LORD, I FEEL IT. PRONE TO LEAVE THE GOD I LOVE; HERE'S MY HEART LORD, O TAKE AND SEAL IT, SEAL IT FOR THY COURTS ABOVE.

Guys, if you could help me out by just praying for endurance for me to finish this race and to find simply joy along the path it takes me, that would be so amazing. Thank you!