I am a dreamer. That can be learned about me within minutes of meeting me. I love to plan. I love to develop ideas. I love to let my imagination run wild and see where it takes me. APU has this thing called Strengths. I'm such a dreamer/planner/etc. that Futuristic was one of my top strengths. No surprise there. However, I hold onto my dreams tightly and when suddenly I realize that a dream or plan can't ever be, my heart is broken. Sometimes I wonder if my heart is more devoted to these hopes and dreams than it is to God. This is where sacrifice, loyalty, and commitment come into play.
I'm a girl who is dying to find my future husband, fall in love with him, plan out my dream wedding (most of which has already been done), get married, have kids (already have names chosen), live in a lovely house with a front and backyard in a quiet community with a good school system so my kids can obtain a great education and won't be moving around from house to house. And get this. This isn't even a fraction of the many hopes and dreams I have.
Notice how God wasn't mentioned? I get so wrapped up in daydreaming that I forget that God has everything, literally EVERYTHING planned out already. It doesn't matter what I want. It's what God wants. Letting go is soo hard for me. I had to let go of going to my dream college because God was saying, "No. You are going to APU. This is where you belong. Trust me." I hated my decision for months until I finally wound up immersed in the love and support of the APU community. I guess God was right. Now to trust Him, to commit my everything to Him, including these hopes and dreams that I hold so tightly to.
Sacrifice. Ah. What joy it should be to sacrifice our lives to God when he willingly and literally sacrificed his for us. I think it's something that every individual can work on in one shape or form. Won't happen overnight but will take time, and that in itself takes commitment. So let me pose a question for us: How commited are you to God?
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